If only I could turn back time...

“Well I guess it’s typical to cling to memories you’ll never get back again, and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago, or a friend that you used to know, and there below his frozen face where you wrote the name of that ancient date, that ancient date, and you can’t believe he’s really gone. When all that’s left is a fucking song.”

Sometimes I get this urge to talk to you, and then I remember that you're a different person now. It's just sad because I miss you.......ALOT!! :(

A little bit of...

When you are sad and down, you  have that one thing that keeps you from breaking down; you realize that without that one thing you would be nothing.

well, he’s that guy for me.

“Ever have that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it’s a lie because there’s always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you’re better off without, but you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn’t deserve you, but yet you choose to overlook it because you love him. yeah? well, he’s that guy for me.”

Self-induced mess

“You’re a waste. You hide behind your hair and you never go to parties. You have no friends and you have managed to fuck up just about everything, you can’t really cry because you know it is your fault but you have to for some reason, it’s an addiction to become this self-induced mess with bruises and cuts. You bite your nails and your lip and listen to sad music while watching every other human being living their life, fulfilling every part of it and you wonder why you are so depressed and miserable, it is because it is your fault. Stop trying to feel misunderstood and just realize no one cares, you shouldn’t either.”

lost amidst all of your yesterdays...

11:59 p.m.

in one minute, or 

sixty seconds, or 

sixty thousand milliseconds, 

today will be gone

and today will be yesterday and

tomorrow will be today.

It's kind of terrifying when you think

about it.

terrifying in the way that everything

you did today - all the

lists you've made,

places you've been,

things you've touched,

songs you've heard,

conversations you've had - will

soon become a memory,

or worse, it would be forgotten.

lost amidst all of your yesterdays...

...gone!

                                12:00a.m.

                                today

“Don’t ignore effort of a person who tries to keep in touch, because not all the time SOMEONE cares.”

No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

It's hard to find someone who will love you no matter what....

I LOVE YOU. I'M IN-LOVE WITH YOU... I HAVE TRIED TO KILL IT, TO RUN AWAY FROM IT, BUT I CAN'T AND I DON'T WANT TO ANYMOREEEEEEEEEE........

When a girl cries, it is not usually over one thing... It is built up anger and emotions that she's been holding in for too long :(

CRIED FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR....

I look up — many people feel small because they’re small and the Universe is big — but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of connectivity. 

That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant, you want to feel like a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you. 

That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive… 

- Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson

...........

When was the last time you ever ask me if I'm alright? Seems like things are really unfair and even though I can feel it that I'm important to you, it's just that doubts are coming on my way and make me believe that I'm just no use to you.....

YES! I'M STILL FIGHTING BUT HOW I WISH TIME WILL COME THAT YOU'LL GOING TO FIGHT WITH ME TOGETHER AND ESCAPE THE REALITY AND MAKE OUR OWN FAIRYTALE LOVE STORY! :(

CAROLINIAN JOSENIAN LOVESTORY

TO WHOEVER THEY ARE, I SALUTE YOU FOR YOUR AWESOME LOVE STORY. MAKA-SOYA :(

Falling inlove? It was never part of my plan. I mean who needs a boyfriend when I have awesome friends who rock my world. But when I met him 4 years ago, I had a sudden change of heart. DMD oi. Pagkita shudi balibad oyy. He's an epitome of perfection, a kind of guy who'd sweep you of your feet and whisk you off to his palace on horseback. Gwapo jud kaayu siya, bright pud, buotan, may kaya gamay ug ang pinakalove jud nako kay ang pagka God-fearing ug family oriented. Di jud gani ko kalimut giunsa namu pagmeet. Nagkasakay man mi atu sa jeep padung SM nea nitunol siya ug plite 'Carolinian, palihug plite' ako ra pud gidawat nea mao ra tu then kevs ra, walay attraction on my part. Paguli nako nahibung ko naay ni txt nako, ang kugtong diay.
1st Text:
J: Hi, Carolinian
C: kinsa ni oyy?
J:Imung future
C:Boang naka. Wa man gani ko kaila nimu. Ma future ka karun.
J:Malditaha oy
C:aww. sorry gud. Spammer palang ka.
J:ako bitaw tong nitunol ug plite nimu ganiha nga nitawag ug Carolinian nimu.
C:aww ikaw diay to?
J: makigfriends ko ha. Pwede ra?
C:haha ambot
Classmate diay sila sa akong miga miga, mao to ni BDO siya, he find ways. haha. Basta daghan pag churvabels basta mao natuy sinugdanan sa gugmang way katapusan. hahahaha kalol oyy. After atu chat2, text2 dayun, tawag2, kita2, kaon2 sa mcdo. Char2 stage gud in short. Pero before nagkakami iya sa gipanguyaban akong daddy hangtud ni approve si daddy nea pag June2009 nagkauyab jud intawn, kaluoys ginoo. We were each other's first so mga wala juy alamag. Carolinian, Josenian ra gani amung endearment usahay baby. Awkward pud ang 1st holding hands namu samut nang 1st kiss. Pero nakat.un ra man pud ang boang. Nakat.un ug surprise2. Gitagaan gani ko atu niya ug bottle nga naay sagol2 nga 365things he love about me, lovequotes ug sweet msgs, pag 1st anniv to. Hilak gud kos kalipay. HE'S THE SWEETEST BF ever jud. He'd always hold my hand, hug me whenever he feels like somethings wrong, listen to all my stories and dramas, kiss me on my forehead, pinch my nose, play w/ my hair basta tanan sweet actions. Musabay jud siyas tanang ka cornyhang akong mahunahunaan. Mao na everyday is a kilig day. Di gud na muagi ang adlaw nga di siya mag I LOVE YOU. Pero naa pud miy away2 like kanang luod2, selos2 labi na siya nga oa sa pagkaseloso. Pero nakalahutay jud intawn ug 4yrs nea naa pay bonus CPA ming duha. We were so happy, it feels like we have the most perfect lovestory but our story w/c I thought would last forever ENDED. 

Last June, during our fourth anniversary :'((( Didtu mi ug SM. Nangaon sa harbour City then Kinect sa Quantum. Nea nangadtu mis ila. Storya2. Nakahisgot pa gani kog plans in the fututre. Pero hilom ra jud kaayu siya. Mao to ako siya gi ask. Nea gi hug ko niya.

NAKABUNTIS KO!!!

Mao ra tu iyang naingun. Namugnaw ko nga Wa ko kasabot. Sakit nga di.Sige na siyag hilak mao to nihilak na pud ko. Pero ga hug pa mi ha, we stayed like that for a while. then after atu nangutana kos details. UG SA DIHANG ang iyang nabuntis kay ang bestfriend nako nga blockmateniya sauna. Hastang! Mura kog giyab.an ug 1 drum na bugnaw na tubig oyy. Ako pa daw ang nakahibaw. grabeha lagi atu kasakit,kanang ma feel jud nimu baa. Niuli ko oyy, didtu ko nagminatay ug hilak. Wa ko nagpakita niya for a week. Nea ni GM si Girl nga naa daw siya iannounce sa barkada, kahibaw nako unsa to. Pero ni adtu japun ko. Didtu pa jud sa balay sa Gwapo nakong uyab. Pag.abot nako wala pa may taw, gipalingkod ra ko sa maid sa kanang terrace2 nga naa sa gawas ba. Nahibung ko niandar bitaw nang themesong namu, nea nagkagubot sa gawas. Mao to paggawas nako naglinya akong barkada with matching "BE MY WIFE"nga banner. Ni gawas dayun ang kugtong. "Babe,Joke ra bitaw tung buntis2. HEHEHE. Ganahan ra ko magbuwag ta kadiyot para makaprepare ko ani. Ganahan ko special gud ug memorable.

Will you share the rest of your life with me?

Pwede matay sa kakilig. Feel ninyu unsa akong tubag? Aww, OO oyy. Pero gidukol nako siya sa pagpangilad nako. HAHAHA. Mao to, engage nami.Hopefully ikasal inig 2015 or 2016. Layu pa pero at least we're together.

THE WORLD SADDENS ME..

THE WORLD SADDENS ME. We are now living in a world where being different can... make people think there is something wrong with them... make people go clinically insane... make them want to kill themselves. DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU SAD?

Just with the knowledge that your hands are linked together.... :)

Holding hands might just be the cutest thing ever. It's such an intimate gesture, yet so innocent at the same time. When you feel their hand touching the palm of yours, it's like the world is at your fingertips at that moment. And even better, the first time two people ever hold hands, is precious. When the person nudges at your hand and eventually slides their fingers interlocking with yours and you feel your cheeks getting warm, turning a shade of rosy pink and your heart is pounding like drums. When they grasp on so tight like it would be impossible to let you go. How their hand just seems to fit right into yours as if it was meant to be that way. So beautiful and satisfying with a rush of different emotions. And just with the knowledge that your hands are linked together makes your heart even fonder and you can literally feel how close you are to each other,