"God Gave Me You"

I am in the midst of confusion...I don't know what's the real thing that bothers in mind. But I know God  has a great plan for me! But the real issue that I'm facing right now is to let myself understand how I really feel and to whom it really felt for... to unfold the secrets that buried deep in my heart. I just write here because I guess this is the only way that I can turn to...

I DO A LOT OF THINKING, AND THAT'S WHAT KILLS ME SLOWLY :(

I know I should not bother my life to my past, as what they said, "PAST IS PAST", but I can't deny the fact that when I hear something about "HIM".... I can't forbid my heart to stop caring on that "HIM". I know I should break this affection for him.. but there is still that lingering hope. Hope that someday, I can be with Him at his side, to laugh, to tease, and to love him even more. I miss him but I should disallow this because I know it is wrong already.

Everyday, I am looking for something that might forget him. I thought it was very easy...just a thought! Time heals, I know.. that's why I keep on praying to let this healing process be end. But as time goes by, as this healing process goes on and on, I guess it has never an ending, for the love that I felt for him is like the light on the sky - at morning the sun shines throughout the earth and on the night, it may dark for a while but with the aids of the stars... it shines splendidly!!

Truly, it is really hard to forget someone who gave you soooo much to remember!! When I first met you, I had no idea that you would mean this much to me! PURBIDA BAIII!!!

If only you had an idea, how fucking tired am I staying late up at night and thinking of everything I have done wrong and how much IT HURTS. How I wish one day, I'll pop up on your mind and you'll think, "I SHOULDN'T LET HER GO".. I know it was too late to come back to you and it was my fault of thinking that decision on that way..you had your new one and i'm pretty much sure she's better that me. Naa kanunay nimo, makakuyog bisan asa, welcome na sa inyo, mo'iron sa imo uniform, etc... Ka'cutee :3 But I'm happy for you. At least nakaget'over naka. Don't worry about me, I know God is Good. Maybe somewhere out there sa mga kiilid-kilid, naa ra ang perfect guy fits for me, HAHAHAHA :D 

Clifford, if ever you can read... I wanna thank you for being such a good friend, an awesome boyfriend, a perfect adviser and for being a good boy who's always there whenever I need a shoulder to cry on. I'm so blessed for "GOD GAVE ME YOU" :)

...because after all, this heart of mine..still beats a part for you!

-RECHEL ;) 

...this time, believe me that this words are true ;)