I tell you this before I regret...

Seconds, minutes, hours pass in silence. Suddenly you realize days have already passed, weeks or even months. You think of only one person. You have been away from him for far too long. You don't know what you are feeling. Girl, you miss him. You miss him a lot.

First, here I am very happy. Feeling everything is good, feeling that everything is perfect. Then, a sudden turn of events. Misunderstanding or arguments happen. Then, bang He left without leaving me anything. Only happy and bitter memories. Before, it seemed that I loved everything, everyone. It seemed like I knew everything perfectly. I had my inspiration. Now, it's gone. I suddenly find myself in a room full of people. People I know, but there is one person I suddenly don't know. I see her looking right at me, she seems familiar like someone I used to know perfectly still, I don't know her. After a while, I stop staring at myself in front of the mirror. I realize that person I don't know is—me myself. I don't know what or who I want. I can't concentrate on anything anymore. My world is suddenly surrounded by mixture of feelings-- pain, anger, love and longing.

What should I do with this? What will I do with this suddenly weird life I have? Should I forget that person entirely? Should I push myself to forget him? Should I put aside all the memories we had? Should I pretend that everything is fine and that he never existed in my life? 

Okay, this is what I do. I bear in my mind that he was a part of my life. He has made a great impact in my life. He made me happy; he made me smile during hard times. He accompanied me when I was lonely. So, I’m thankful for that. He also, in a way, helped mold me into the person I am are right now. 

A lot of memories I have were spent with him. I won’t forget those memories I had with him may it be good or bad. Those good memories could help me please the feeling of longing, or the feeling of emptiness. The bad memories may help me be a better person. It will help me because I will want to avoid feeling the pain I already felt. I can learn from my mistakes from there to avoid more conflicts. Also, those bad memories can help me move on. Move on from the feeling that I still miss him though he has hurt me one too many times.

When I miss someone, I won't push myself to forget him. I miss him, that's natural. He was a part of my life. Of course I miss the times that I was with him. So, I savor the moments I have when I see him. Talk to him; ask what he is up to these days. At least I am still being a part of his life. Missing someone isn't bad. I never push myself to do stuff I don't want to do. I will just add more burden and pain to myself. I just let the feeling pass naturally. It would be better to let the feeling go away than hurt myself intentionally just to forget him or to get over missing him.

Also, I should not pretend that everything is just fine even when it's not. I should not act that I can deal with it easily. I will be lying to the people around me and I will be lying to myself. If I miss him, I admit it to myself. I can even admit it to him that I miss him; I won't lose anything once I tell him. I would not know he might be missing me too. Then we can have time again for each other to bond, to patch things up or to even try to bring back old times. At least when we get to talk to each other, we will be able to update each other. The bond we used to have is there again. Now, when we part ways, it would be parting from the more intimate relationship we had. We can now go back to the first step and at least be friends again. While we are still friends, we treasure those times. I mean I would rather have him in my life as a friend rather than strangers walking pass each other every day right?

I will tell him the truth. Tell him I miss him. At least I admit to myself. Also, I always remember the fact that he was a part of my life. I can have that as a basis for a beginning of a new friendship. I will always remember all the memories we had.  Treasure them always because that is the only thing he can never take away from me. Yes, he got my heart but I will get it back. Our memories, once it's gone, it's impossible to get it back. I will never push myself to forget him. I just let the feeling pass, letting my heart heal its wound, letting my heart grow, letting myself miss him. I will help myself get over missing him but I won't force myself. I won’t live a lie. Lastly, if I miss him, I’ll let him know, I may never know, he might be missing me too and he even might want me back in his life. Now, those old good memories will be added and the bad memories will be replaced.